Survivor Community

A letter of thanks from survivor Christine Hickey, written at the end of 2003:

Dear Friends,

As this year draws to a close, I want to express my gratitude.

It amazes me that I have come to meet and value so many courageous and caring people in the past couple of years. Prior to 2002, I had told only a few close friends about having been abused by a priest. Having since learned about the abuse of thousands of others, as well as the magnitude of the cover-up, I have been rocked with a variety of emotions. But today, gratitude and renewed sense of hope prevail in my heart.

Thank you for making a positive difference in the world. You have demonstrated courage and love in many ways: by expressing your outrage at a protest; quietly listening to a victim's pain; making a phone call to say I am concerned about you; praying at a vigil; sending an e-mail message of encouragement; telling your story publicly; asking for the help, which you deserve; openly expressing the pain and confusion of Catholics who have been so betrayed; speaking out for your child who is unable to do so; holding a sign in the cold for hours; meditating in front of the chancery; building a website; holding press conferences to keep the public informed; conducting research for countless hours; fundraising; reporting on the story with integrity and fairness; representing clients in their lawsuits against the church with tireless dedication; filing a suit against a powerful institution; testifying at the state house; writing articles and producing films that resulted in reflection and discussion; and many other acts of courage, large and tiny, which shed light on the problem and brought light into the darkness.

I am honored to know all of you. Though we have not always been graceful or articulate, and have battled each other at times, we have told the truth and have dealt with the consequences. It is certainly not "over," but we should be proud of what we have accomplished thus far.

We talk about "healing" often. I am pleased to report that going through the recent arbitration process has been quite healing for me. It was an excruciatingly difficult experience; but I have been left with a sense of compassion for myself, which is new. Perhaps I should not say "but." It is precisely the act of going through these painful experiences that results in healing. (Of course, I have many thoughts on the entire settlement process, but today I want to focus on the positive and on gratitude.)

Telling my story to the judge at my hearing (with complete honesty and without concern for how others would view me) allowed me to see myself with new eyes. I understood, for the first time, that I have no reason to be ashamed of my life. I have known that intellectually, but that realization had not yet found its way into my soul. For the first time in my life, I am comprehending that I am indeed worthy of the love which has been offered to me. (Gee, what a concept!)

Thank you all for that gift.

Without SNAP, Survivors First, VOTF, CCS, responsible members of the media, and everyone else who has been involved, I would be feeling alone with the knowledge and consequences of being raped by a priest. Some of you are close friends now, others of you I have only met through e-mail or the phone. Yet each one of you has had an impact in my life, and in many lives.

There have been many times during the past two years when I have been paralyzed with sadness, panic, and fear. I sometimes felt that the evil was larger than the goodness; I did not know how to make sense of it all. Thank you for reminding me that even in the most overwhelmingly difficult situations, acts of love and kindness exist. Thank you for showing me that there is always hope. Thank you for being patient, and not giving up on me, when I was unable to respond to your many offers of support. In the future, when I am struggling (as I expect I will be!), I will cherish the valuable lessons learned.

Because of you, the world is a bit safer for our children. Hold that in your heart.

Wishing you serenity and joy in the New Year, with respect and love,
Christine Hickey

PRAYER OF THE MONTH

Benediction for Boston
(Meditation on Numbers 6:24-26)

by Belinda Martinez*

May the Lord protect you from your nightmares.
May the Lord defend you from your fears.
May the One who made you walk beside you.
May the One who sees you dry your tears.

May the Lord be by your side in sorrow.
May graciousness from Heaven make you smile.
May the face of Yahweh shine upon you,
Dispelling darkness you have known a while.

May the Lord shed mercy in abundance.
May you lift your face to meet God's gaze.
May solace tuck you in and guard your slumber.
May confidence be yours for all your days.

No longer will they lead into temptation.
Cast off all your worries, guilt and shame.
No anonymity allowed in Heaven.
It's there that "everybody knows your name."

Entrust yourselves now to each other.
Be well! You have but just a single chance.
Do not detract from graces in your keeping.
But by your grace, seek only to enhance.

May God carve into sand your darkest secrets,
That waves may wash away the hurt you've known.
Then may the Greatest Giver carve your comfort,
And hope, and joy, and health, and love in stone.

No need to bow your head for benediction.
Look up instead, and see what's yet to be.
May Yahweh bless you now and ever after.
And may the Lord bring peace to you and me.

* Belinda is from Minnesota. She wrote this poem specifically for the "Fireside Chat" recently held in Wellesley, MA. See www.survivorsfirst.org for details on this enormously successful event.

Lighthouse Update
Reported by Steve Sheehan

On January 11, 2004, a meeting was held at the YMCA in Quincy, MA, with 333 advocates and survivors in attendance. The purpose of the meeting was to explore the feasibility of continuing The Lighthouse in operation and to determine what reorganization might be appropriate.

The office in East Boston was closed on December 31, 2003, as it was deemed neither necessary nor economically appropriate to maintain a physical location that required a monthly expenditure of $900.00 for rent and utilities.

The sense of the meeting was that The Lighthouse should continue as a concept, in order to provide a unique interface between the survivor community and the supporter/advocates. While some present expressed some concern that The Lighthouse overlapped the functions of other existing agencies, the majority believed that these concerns were being addressed and that the value and importance of this interface justified the ongoing commitment to support the victim/survivors by providing a safe connection for them to come forward and receive support, suggestions and referrals without having to rely on a church-based office. Survivors present supported the concept and expressed their appreciation for the opportunity to associate, and interact with the advocates on a personal basis, which does not happen in other agencies.

It was felt that meetings could be held periodically (monthly, perhaps) to bring the survivors and advocates together to promote a sense of community. Meetings would be held from time to time at varied locations to facilitate availability to a large number of survivors.

The next meeting will be held again in Quincy on February 8 to discuss specific plans for reorganization to include election/selection of new officers and directors. These would facilitate future operations (five of the members present volunteered to serve as directors), and to establish specific goals and a mission statement for the organization. The mission and goals will be kept consistent with the relationship of The Lighthouse to other support groups such as SNAP and The Linkup.

This information will be updated monthly. Any and all suggestions. questions and/or comments are appreciated and should be referred to Steve Sheehan at sheehan1777@aol.com.

Voice of the Faithful, VOTF, "Keep the Faith, Change the Church,"
Voice of Compassion, VOTF logo(s), Parish Voice, and
Prayerful Voice are trademarks of Voice of the Faithful, Inc.

Voice of the Faithful is a 501(c) 3 tax-exempt organization.