Consecrated in Truth
No Longer Banned In Brooklyn

Reported by Melissa Gradel, Regional Coordinator, VOTF Brooklyn, NY

Brooklyn is the first Diocese in the country where VOTF meetings were banned on church property and then permitted. Many have asked how we succeeded in persuading Bishop Daily to change his mind, and what might be learned from our experience.

The six months that VOTF meetings were banned from parishes and other diocesan property was a painful period for us. We were angry, but didn't know how to make ourselves heard. Relationships with pastors were strained. Some of us felt like pariahs in our own parishes. Sometimes we were uncertain if our actions were wise, or if we would do more harm than good.

Fortunately, Bishop Daily established a committee of representatives of the Diocese to meet with local VOTF leaders, and ultimately, on their advice, reversed his decision. A priest I know says this is the first time he has ever heard of a bishop changing his position on anything as a result of consultation with the laity. How did this happen? What could possibly have brought about this change?

I have shared thoughts about how we prepared for the meetings, what we did, and what we thought worked with some of the other VOTF leaders and those dealing with various situations with their bishops. Perhaps our experiences will be helpful to them, but each situation is different because each bishop is different - and the VOTF members are different, too. But I think the main reason we succeeded here in Brooklyn is the same reason that VOTF is becoming such a powerful force in the American Church: we told the truth.

To be sure, we were very fortunate that Auxiliary Bishop Ignatius Catanello and the others on the diocesan committee were willing to listen to us. Without that willingness, we could have done nothing. But once we were able to sit down with them, we tried as best we could to tell the truth.

The first meeting, held in late January, began with prayer. This was followed by a round of introductions in which each person spoke about why they were participating in the meeting. It was like a "listening session." Each person spoke of his or her love of the Church, and feelings of sadness, anger, shame, heartbreak over the prior year. There were eleven people - five on the diocesan committee and six local VOTF leaders - and each spoke 5 to 10 minutes. It took a long time, but it turned out to be key. It established common ground: we are all Catholics; we are all outraged and revolted by the abuse of children; we are all mystified and angry about the apparent cover up of these crimes by some bishops; we are all concerned about due process for accused priests; we all want to help the Church heal.

Then, we answered their questions. We told the diocesan committee about VOTF. We told them what we were concerned about in our diocese and what we hoped to accomplish. And they believed us.

Bishop Daily's April 29 letter, explaining to priests and deacons of the diocese that he had decided to permit VOTF meetings, acknowledges the need for new forms of collaboration between laity and clergy. Although the ban should never have been imposed in the first place, I believe this incident gave us an opportunity to model those new forms of collaboration.

They say it takes two to tango, and those in unhappy relationships are often advised to try changing their own behavior, rather than wishing (or demanding) that their partner change. We cannot change the hierarchy by force, but we are in relationship with them, so we can change our own stance toward them. We must overcome our own fear. We must confront injustice with truth. We must not be silenced. We must raise questions. We must speak from the truth of our own lives. Perhaps the structural change we seek will start - has already started - in our hearts. And as we change, sometimes a bishop will surprise us by changing in response.

These words leapt out at me from the Gospel last Sunday:

Consecrate them in the truth. Your word is truth
As you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world.
And I consecrate myself for them, so that they also may be consecrated in truth.
(John 17:17-19)

If we have the courage to keep telling the truth, we will change the church and keep the faith.

(VOTF Brooklyn, NY is happy to answer any questions others might have about bishop dialogue at mgradel@votf.org.)

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