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LETTER
TO THE EDITOR
This
letter is a response to the August 11 commentary from
Maria Rodrigues on the closing of her son’s elementary
school. What follows is one mother’s response on behalf
of another. The writer is addressing Maria but appeals
to all mothers:
“I know
that Voice of the Faithful has done many responsible and
kind things in support of victims of clergy abuse, and
I also understand your deep feelings of hurt at experiencing
the pain surrounding your young son at the prospect of
losing his school. I can identify with the need to try
and make things right for him. This piece, though, arouses
in me such a need to try and meet you on the level of mother,
a mother who loves her son. Help me to understand why all
Catholic mothers have not railed at this same church and
what it has done to thousands of our sons, and daughters.
I am
going to speak on behalf of a mother who is no longer with
us and therefore cannot speak for herself. Were she here
I feel certain she would say the following:
What
about my son? Why do you good Catholics not care about
him? Why are you not joined in solidarity screaming out
at the horrible treatment he met each day at his school?
Talk to him now. Let him tell you what it was like to arise
each morning and try and decide what to wear to school
because he knew the clothes he chose were going to be ripped
from his body and possibly torn as he was subjected to
the daily rape of his body by his priest. He was
sodomized nearly every single day for two years until he
could endure it no longer. He finally had to quit school.
He never returned, and to this day has never gotten an
education.
He is
a grown man now, but each day he remembers. He remembers
the cost to me as I lost my faith, my sense of hope and
belief in the church in which I was raised and was raising
my family. He remembers his own fear, his shame, the pain
of the sodomy, and the lack of understanding at why no
one was helping him. He was raped in classrooms, in the
principal’s office, at other Catholic schools. He remembers
the anger, wanting to kill the priest. He remembers how
I simply gave up when I couldn't help or get anything done
about this injustice. He still believes to this day that
his abuse is what killed me and he is right.
Where
is the movement to action by mothers for this injustice?
Who among you will stand up for my son? He is still angry,
still hurts, and still cannot get anything done. His rapist
priest was finally taken away to a mental hospital where
he died, having been moved many times after many unsuccessful
attempts to get him to stop what he was doing. His victims
are so many, and number among them his own brother priests,
and yet no one takes a stand for my son. Why do Catholic
mothers not fight for our sons? I tried, but I was
alone, and, as always, the powerful church won. Though
I understand your wanting your son to get a good education
in a particular school, I warn you to guard him well. If
you believe the problem of abuse is solved, you are mistaken.
Keep him close to you. I hope you never experience the
pain brought into my life by this evil, uncaring church.
I could not live with my pain at not being able to help
my son. I wish you success with yours.”
Sincerely,
a mother just like you
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