BOOK
Notes
From Bill Casey, VOTF Virginia:
In reading Parker Palmer's latest book, A Hidden
Wholeness, the Journey Toward an Undivided Life (Jossey-Bass,
2004 and available at www.amazon.com) I came across a
section
that makes a lot of sense to me regarding our attempts
to change the governance ills in our Church. It doesn't
offer any easy or concrete "solutions", but I
offer it for your consideration.
In a chapter called “The Third Way, Nonviolence
in Everyday Life” Palmer cites as examples of nonphysical
violence "colleges that treat win-lose competition
as the best way to make students learn, medical schools
that turn suffering patients into abstract 'objects'
of study, religious institutions built on the idea that
they alone know the mind of God", etc. Palmer finds
evidence of this nonphysical violence at every level
of our lives, and his examples are full of everyday conflicts
that we experience in work and other forums. However,
he suggests that this violence can be countered by learning,
and responding to conflict in, a nonviolent way. Specifically,
he defines this way as "learning to hold the tension
of opposites, trusting that the tension itself will pull
our hearts and minds open to a third way of thinking
and acting". He labels this experience as "standing
in the gap." His text follows:
"In particular, we must learn to hold the tension
between the 'reality' of the moment and the 'possibility'
that something better might emerge. In a business meeting,
for example, I mean the tension between the fact that
we are deadlocked about what to do and the possibility
that we might find a solution superior to any of those
on the table.
Of course, finding a third way beyond our current dilemma
may be possible in theory, but it often seems unlikely
in life. In a contentious business meeting, a better
solution might well exist, but the pressures of ego,
time, and the bottom line make it unlikely that we will
find it.
The insight at the heart of nonviolence is that we live
in a tragic gap--a gap between the way things are and
the way we know they might be. If we want to live nonviolent
lives, we must learn to stand in the tragic gap, faithfully
holding the tension between reality and possibility in
hopes of being opened to a third way.
I harbor no illusions about how hard it is to live in
that gap. Though we may try to keep our grip on both
reality and hope, we often find the tension too hard
to hold--so we let go of one pole and collapse into the
other. Sometimes we resign ourselves to things as they
are and sink into cynical disengagement. Sometimes we
cling to escapist fantasies and float above the fray.
Having been drawn to both extremes, I have tried to understand
why.
Deep within me there is an instinct even more primitive
than 'fight or flight', and I do not think it is mine
alone. As a species, we are profoundly impatient with
tensions of any sort, and we want to resolve every one
of them as quickly as we can.
For example, we are in a meeting where a decision must
be made. As we
talk, it becomes clear that people disagree on the matter,
and our frustration grows as we listen to various options.
Uncomfortable with holding the tension of conflicting
viewpoints and wanting to 'get on with it', we call the
question, take a vote, and let the majority decide what
course we should take.
The tension has been resolved, or so it appears. But
by cutting the exploration short, we have deprived ourselves
of a chance to find a better way by allowing opposing
ideas to enrich and enlarge each other until a new vision
emerges. And by letting the majority decide which way
to go, we often drive the tension underground, creating
an embittered minority who devote themselves to undermining
the decision we thought we had made."
It will be no surprise that Palmer's thoughts arise
out of a strong Quaker tradition.
I believe that Palmer's thoughts offer a lot for our
consideration in trying to advance the vision of VOTF.
Perhaps they will offer you something as well.
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