ROME, April 17

What follows is the first of a series of reflections Kris Ward will submit to the VOTF web site while she is in Rome on behalf of VOTF.

Eve of the Conclave to Elect the Successor to Pope John Paul II.

In a time of bereavement there are confusing moods. At some moments all seems fine, as though nothing has happened. In an instant, there can be a flood of tears and a heaving of sobs, followed by a return to a veneer of the placid.

So it was in Rome today on the eve of the conclave to elect the next pope - from the most unusual weather for a Roman April to an underlying anxiety among the tourists, travelers, and Romans. The weather's mood swings from moments of sunshine and warmth to torrents of rain charged with lightning and thunder, then sleet and back to sunshine again.

Uncertainty among the people here is as heavy as the leaden skies. It is important that Voice of the Faithful has come to bear witness. These are critical days for the Church.

If a building can signal a sadness, the Apostolic Palace does. The third floor window of the papal apartments, one of the most photographed exteriors in the world, seems flatter and smaller than when an occupant of St. Peteràs Throne is in residence. The Square is usually a lively crossroads of the world, no matter the weather, but today the mood was subdued. Even the voices of children were muted.

Visitors waiting entry to the gravesite of Pope John Paul II passed through security and then queued beneath the Sistine Chapel where the cardinal electors will cast ballots for the next pope. Pope John Paul II's grave, two grotto openings from Paul VI's and just around the corner from St. Peter's tomb, shines with the newness of gold lettering on marble, electric lights and a red votive candle.

There is no chance to linger beyond a brief look. The visitor must choose between a pause for reflection or picture-taking, the staff does not allow time for both.

The space is not new to John Paul. It was the grotto where the body of Pope John XXIII, the convener of the Second Vatican Council, was buried until three years ago when John was beatified (the last step before sainthood) and his body was moved to a glass case on the basilica's main floor. Pope John Paul II came here to pray upon returning to Rome after each of his trips. He would also pray at Paul VI's grave, two grotto spaces away.

There are crowds of tourists in the basilica on this Sunday but still it seems to be in a state of suspended animation.

The Vatican has done well the physical work of marking a pope’s passing. Inside the doorway of the Vatican Treasures museum on the left side of the basilica is a wall inscription of the names of the popes and their dates of death. In Latin there has been added Ioannes Paulus II (John Paul II) with the Arabic numerals 2005. The list begins with Peter and there are two dates of death given, 67and 64. The Church shows no uncertainly after that - for Linus, the second pope, the year is 76, followed by Cletus and the year 88. We moved into triple digits with Evaristus at 105, and proceed to the end of the second column with Gregory V dying in 999. Pius X's year of death begins the 20th century dates and the fourth column of years - 1914. After the recording of Pope John Paul II and 2005, there is space for 39 more popes before the wall is filled.

The most striking outward sign of the anticipation of the new pope is the blood red draping over the main balcony of the great facade of St. Peter. It is here that the announcement of the election and the introduction of the 265th successor to the Apostle Peter will be made.

Directly across the Square in alignment with the souvenir shops, hotels and cafes, two levels of scaffolding have been erected to allow the cameras of the world press to train their lenses on the next occupant of the papacy. On the Via della Concilazione, the wide boulevard that is a straight edge to the bowl of St. Peter's Square, a large sign near the St. Peter's Cafe reads "Giovanni Paolo II SANTCO." John Paul II SAINT. For four euros, a little more than five dollars, you can have four 12X14 photographs of John Paul at various stages of age and health.

In the Square, it doesn't take much to start a conversation about who the next pope will be:

• the Germans believe it will be an Italian

• the Italians are worried it will be a German

But which Italian and which German?

• Say the Italians - skipping over the frontrunner German Cardinal Ratzinger, maybe it will be German Cardinal Kasper

• Say the Germans - not the Italian Tettamanzi; he has put too many opinions in his books

• Say the northern Europeans - not the Belgian Cardinal Daneels; he is too progressive

• Say they all - not a cardinal from the United States

What of the Indian Cardinal Dias? Interesting, say some. Who? say others.

What about a Cardinal over age 80? Even though cardinals over the age of 80 are barred from going to the conclave, the cardinal electors are not barred from electing one of them. Perhaps, say the advocates of a short reign. If the conclave goes on for more than four days, maybe.

Across the Square a group of advocates for Honduran Cardinal Oscar Rodriquez are pasting up small hand written signs in Spanish on phone booths, shop windows, and building facades that say that the Honduran will be elected and the sons of the Church better listen to their prediction.

By this evening all of the cardinal electors had moved into St. Martha's Guesthouse, the hotel inside the Vatican walls, where the sleeping, eating and many discussions will take place. The voting will be done four times a day in the Sistine Chapel. The voting results will only be announced twice a day - at noon and at 7 PM Rome time (six hours earlier than Eastern Daylight Time).

The Evening Mass was said not at the main papal altar under the trussed tonnage of the baldachino but the altar beneath the Holy Spirit window. The Spirit is suspended in golden rays in this window directly above the huge bronze throne of St. Peter. It was a fitting place for meditation and prayer.

During the Evening Vespers in the singing of the Magnificat a memory of John Paul came back to me. On the eve of the First Sunday of Advent in the first of the trinity of years that led up to the Jubilee Year, I was in this Basilica for the Evening Vespers. An incense pot five feet high was on the main altar and the Book of the Gospels that was carried in procession was placed on the altar. Pope John Paul was not the homilist but the presider and he sat about 15 feet from me.

At the singing of the Magnificat, the Sistine Chapel Choir alternated the verses with the assembly. The Sistine Chapel Choir began the chanting “Magnificat anima mea Dominum....” Then the assembly began and because he had a microphone for the homily, Pope John Paul’s baritone was louder but not overpowering of the assembly. I remember thinking then - and pondered it again tonight - what would the Church be like if its leader sang in harmony with its Assembly?