SUGGESTED ACTIONS

Panel Discussions
On a gloomy rain-soaked night in Worcester, a little ray of hope shone from a gathering that brought together representatives of groups that are rarely in the same room together: priests, students, survivors, and laity (including some members of VOTF) met to hear and share various perspectives on the impact of the abuse crisis in the church. The tone was set by the openness and honesty of the priests on the panel, which created an atmosphere of mutual respect and good will for the ensuing conversation. Opportunities such as this promote healing and hope for renewal in our troubled church, and it is my hope that they will be replicated every where that trust has been broken. Following are notes from the evening:

Summary Notes
“Aftermath: The Abuse Crisis and the Ministry of Priests”
A “Beyond Brokenness: Healing, Renewal and the Church” Panel Discussion
Sponsored by Holy Cross College’s Center for Religion, Ethics and Culture,
(a year long series of discussions regarding the renewal and reform of the church).
Holy Cross College
March 31, 2004
7 to 9 p.m.

The following priests addressed “how abuse by fellow priests has affected their work and life as priests, and how they see their own future in the aftermath of the crisis”:

Rev. Kenneth Brown, pastor of St. Margaret of Scotland in St. Louis, Miss.
Rev. William Kremell, interim pastor of Nativity church in Merrimac, MA
Rev. William Campbell, S.J., campus minister at Holy Cross

Fr. Ken Brown, a priest for 25 years, began his reflection by admitting that he had to ask himself what to wear, because of his ambivalence wearing a Roman collar. He described his experience as “recovering from a death in the family” and shared his feelings of sorrow, his helplessness to undo the untold damage to the victim/survivors and their families, his resentment against the perpetrators and his desire that they would admit their guilt. He bemoaned the fact that transparency has not appeared in the way the institution is handling affairs.

He feels a certain vulnerability, not to being accused but in the sense that, in St. Augustine’s words, “There but for the grace of God go I”—a humbling recognition of our humanity.

He described a dull ache accompanied by weariness and discouragement. A question he asks himself is “where is the grace?” in this moment. Fr. Brown then went on to describe how the “crisis” has changed his behavior: He no longer hugs kids at the end of their first confession; he leans down when children run to hug him in the playground (lest they hug him at waist level); he no longer drives one child alone in the car, nor has teenagers answering the phone in the rectory at night. He has no more private interviews with students preparing for Confirmation, but meets in groups of three.

He spoke of second guessing some fairly innocent situations: going upstairs with a child to see a particular video—only to have the embarrassment of the mother, who had been busy fixing dinner, show up in the room and stay with them.

“How would this look?” is a recurring question in his mind. And, “should I be doing this?”

He recognized the need for this kind of reflection, but is saddened that it has to be this way.

As to the future, he believes that parishes and organizations are safer for children. Priests are more honest about their lives, their sexuality and most of all, their humanity. An energized laity is taking ownership and not asking permission to respond to the situation and are meeting to decide what should be done, as is happening in his own parish (a group called “Just Faith”). This he sees as a very good sign. Now there are clearer processes around money.

Priests and people are suspicious of the hierarchy and wonder what goes on. We want good leadership that can be trusted….

In the meantime, his mission continues to be serving the People of God: burying the dead, comforting the sick, administering the sacraments, preaching the Gospel—that does not and will not change.

Fr. Ken wore his collar—because it is his custom, and it is a witness to his priesthood.

Fr. Bill Kremmell expressed his feelings of sadness, shock and disbelief, and anger at the bishops who distance themselves from their own culpability in the crisis—as evidenced in their apologies of “I’m sorry for what happened” instead of “I’m sorry for what I did.”

He told of an African American woman who encouraged him by expressing her “understanding” for the way people stereotype priests since the revelations of abuse (having experienced stereotyping as a woman of color)—as if every priest is also a pedophile.

Fr. Kremmell is part of a support group in which three priests have had allegations leveled against them. The focus on victims is primary and justifiable, but “priests need to know they are loved, too We are a church of forgiveness.” Justice for all is the challenge.

He expressed three big concerns:

1. The identity of the priest—who are going through an “identity crisis” of their own. We are human—we are sinners, we are “wounded healers”: “Our cover has been blown” he expressed, “and may it always be!” He quoted an early church father, “with you I am a Christian: for you I am a priest”. Fr. Kremmell admits to wearing his collar less because of his particular situation—often wearing a shirt instead as he moves as one with his people in the parish and in the community. He sees this time as an opportunity to break the clericalism—the mindset that priests are different, separate and privileged.

2. The intimacy issue—Fr. Kremmell acknowledged that priests (like all human beings) need warmth, closeness and touch—but are now cautioned to use prudence. Unfortunately, spontaneity is gone, and “suffocating boundaries” have been imposed. He, like the first speaker, spoke of incidents where he froze when left alone with a parishioner…But then reflected on last Sunday’s gospel told of the woman caught in adultery who, at the end, was “left alone with Jesus”. So even Jesus was in that situation—and didn’t run from the opportunity to minister to her. “Without healthy intimacy”, Fr. Kremmell said, “We will shrivel up and die.” We have to look at celibacy.

3. Integrity is the third issue of concern, and for Fr. Kremmell it implies, in the words of Father Don Cozzens, that “a priest must be both a man of the church and his own man”: respectful and faithful to the church, but challenging when necessary and “coloring outside the lines” when possible. It requires common sense and pastoral judgment. An example of this is when Fr. Kremmell was invited to preside at the VOTF Mass at the Convention at the Hynes Center in July, 2002. He was cautioned whether this was a good thing to do, but using good pastoral judgment he did, deciding that it was a good thing to do.

The unity of the presbyterate, though important, should not prevent any one priest from standing up and being counted: veritas in caritate (speaking truth in the spirit of love). The morale of priests is low, and there is uncertainty about the future (“Am I next?”).

Add to that the stress of parish closings and reconfiguration, and the heavy demands on the diminishing number of priests—There is a danger that many are “being used” because of their willingness to take on so many extra tasks…Limits have to be set or we will become enablers of a dysfunctional church. Lack of communication from the bishops, and lack of due process are two critical issues that contribute to the present state of the priesthood. For the future, Fr. Bill believes this is a time of vision, of openness to the gifts of all and an end to clericalism: and most of all, a time to trust in the presence and the power of the Holy Spirit through prayer and fasting.

Fr. William Campbell is a new campus minister at Holy Cross, and ordained in the late ‘80’s. He admitted to being hesitant to speak since he didn’t know what value he could add to the conversation without experience in a parish—and feared looking dumb and irrelevant! However, he does recognize that one of the results of the crisis is frustration, particularly that all voices are not being heard. He was critical of the title of the talk (“Aftermath”) to which he received applause from some members of the audience: we’re still in this! He also criticized the publicity poster and resists monolithic terms like “the” church and “the” crisis.

He has “cautious gratitude” to the media and has tried to inform himself from all sides—left, right and center. He lived with two accused priests, and knows one who has been indicted for abuse. In order not to be in any of those situations, he will do whatever possible to make sure it doesn’t happen to himself, or others. He changed jobs and moved on from his past situation in part as a result of the crisis. He is brand new to his role as campus minister, and admitted that he hasn’t yet figured out how it has affected him in this situation.

He wonders what it means to the students. He told of his panic when his six year old niece climbed into his bed one morning when he was visiting his sister overseas. He panics when he is alone with young children. He wonders about looks that seem to say “you’re one of those…” and has experienced condemnatory remarks from strangers. He senses a loss of credibility and relevance.

However, on the positive side, he is resolved to give greater witness to the goodness of his ministry in the church—The Roman collar “marks” him, and sometimes makes him feel like Hester Prynne wearing her scarlet letter—but he finds himself wearing it more often now as confirmation of his commitment. He spoke of the Ignatian way of prayer and discernment, divided over weeks: the first being knowing oneself as a sinner; the second as companionship with Jesus; and the third as willingness to suffer as Jesus did. He has experienced a paradigm shift in himself—moving from identifying with the first two weeks to the third: and a desire to minister to those suffering: Jesus took the risk of making himself vulnerable by being with the vulnerable.

What is required in the future is humility, media awareness (recognizing the power of the image: “priests must not only be chaste, they must also appear to be chaste”). And finally, patience.

He asked what rituals would help in healing and cited the example of a healing service in Milwaukee which included a purification of the church. A “Public Prayer After the Desecration of a Church” was performed in the place where abuse had occurred. (See America, March 22, 2004, p. 4).

Thus ended the panel part of the evening, and the audience (which included over 50 people—half students as well as a few priests, two survivors, four VOTF members, and some people from a Worcester parish).

Overwhelmingly, the comments were ones of praise for the honesty and openness of all three speakers. Two leaders from SNAP attended, ready to speak out against the implied assumption of the title “Aftermath”, but they were preempted when the priests themselves affirmed the ongoing challenge of reform and healing. The priests were praised for their honesty and humanity, and one survivor admitted she had never heard a priest say publicly what each of them had revealed this night.

Questions and comments ranged from recognition that this is a “middle management” problem that rests with the bishops—and whether they would ever change. Others spoke of the importance of people (priests and laity) speaking out, of the importance of working together, of the desire for forums to speak the truth, of the possibility of a “Truth and Reconciliation” commission. One very articulate student spoke of the value of young “hipper” priests on college campuses, and his fear that without education and engagement of the next generation of Catholics, that the church had a grim future or irrelevance in their lives.

The evening highlighted the value of Catholics gathering to speak from their hearts, without defense or fear, and together, with openness to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, not to give up, but to persevere (as John Cardinal Newman did), and be agents of grace, change and reconciliation in an ailing church.

NOTE: David Gibson (The Coming Catholic Church) speaks of the necessity of “rehumanizing the priesthood without desacralizing it” and that the chief relationship that needs tending is between priests and laity. Providing forums such as this is something that VOTF can do—as well as encouraging our priests to speak their truth; educating ourselves as to the position of the priest, which includes our own understanding of our baptism and the universal priesthood: and engaging priests and laity in collaborative tasks in order to build up the church, the People of God. (Submitted by Svea Fraser)